Sticks in the Mud
by Zamya
Summary: "Wait!" he called after her exasperatedly. Avery stopped and gave him a scornful look. "Fine," he sighed and rolled his eyes. "I will show you how to write your stupid words." Jaime/OC
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

Avery sat comfortably on Tyrion's emerald bed, scowling intently at the book in her lap. It seemed as if the words intentionally moved on the paper every time she tried to decipher the words. An irritated sigh let her lips as she closed the book and lay back on the bed.

Light streamed in through the open window. It was a warm day in King's Landing. It has not rained for a while now, making the streets dustier than usual, so she decided to enjoy the nice weather indoors.

The dwarf had a nice balcony overlooking the Blackwater Bay. When she finished her chores earlier Avery often sat there, watching the ships sail out to the unknown. On her luckier days she even spotted some grey shark fins poking out of the water. After that she always made a mental note that she would never go swimming under any circumstances.

_I will take my chances on land._

Despite the nice weather it was a rather dull day. She finished cleaning early, since Tyrion hadn't had any _company _the previous day which she didn't mind the least. The Imp's room was a disgusting change after the Queen's chambers, although she got used to it surprisingly quickly. After two weeks she stopped making faces, while scrubbing the white stains off the sheets and despite Tyrion's crude jokes he was quite decent towards her. He even offered to teach her how to read. He seemed to enjoy playing the role of a maester as he showed her his handwritten books on Westeros' history, kings and dragons, while sharing his own thoughts about people and politics. She listened eagerly to his tales, hoping it would make up for her lack of education. It did, although her acquired knowledge was a bit inadequate.

_Rossart was a cunt, King Aerys was an even bigger cunt and legend says that Aelinor Targaryen had great tits._

Avery decided to practice reading that day but she gave up after staring at the same sentence for long minutes. She was angry with herself for not paying attention enough when Tyrion was showing her the letters after an hour long lesson about the Baratheons. _Stannis is a cunt_. She waited impatiently for the dwarf's arrival to teach her the letters _again_. Avery groaned into her hands as she stared at the ceiling. He would be disappointed. He was patient with her until now, but surely his patience has its limits. After all he was spending his free time on a silly maid, who couldn't memorize some stupid letters.

She had been lying there for some time, when the door creaked. She sat up on the bed while calling out.

"Lord Tyrion?"

She waited for the dwarf's answer, but instead she heard heavy footsteps. Way too heavy for someone so small.

"No," drawled someone as he stepped into the room. "Apparently you are not him either."

Avery quickly jumped off the bed, and curtseyed staring at the floor, trying not to make eye contact with the knight.

There was a tense silence, before he stopped looking at her and walked to the jug of wine, pouring himself a cup. He took a sip and let out a weary sigh.

"Finally," he muttered to himself.

While he was drinking his wine Avery started to feel awkward again, just standing there doing nothing so she decided to pick up her book and leave.

"Wait," he called as she was about to escape. "I've never seen you before. Are you from the brothel?"

"No!" she protested, her cheeks flaming red. "I'm a maid."

"A maid that my brother fucks?" He inquired.

"What?" She snapped hotly. "No!"

"Then why were you lying on his bed?"

Before she could have answered he cocked his head to the side, with a curious glint in his eyes. "Do you not know your place?"

Lord Tyrion told me to do so – she wanted to answer. – He gave me his permission.

"I apologize, Ser Jaime" she said instead, desperately wanting to leave. "It won't happen again."

He opened his mouth to answer, when Tyrion entered the room. "Oh for Gods' sake Jaime, leave the poor girl alone." He grabbed a goblet as well, before turning to Avery. "What did you do, you _minx_?"

Jaime readily answered for her.

"She lay on _your_ bed."

"Well, where else should she lay, dear brother? On the floor maybe? The working of your mind never ceases to amuse me." Jaime glared at him as Tyrion poured the rest of the wine into his goblet. "I told her to make herself comfortable and she did." He took gulped down the whole thing. "Outrageous."

His brother rolled his eyes and returned to his drink.

"Did you want something, my dear?" he asked Avery, who was still standing where she apologized.

She didn't want to ask her question in front of others. She was well aware that there were a lot of people in Westeros who didn't know how to read, but she still felt ashamed of it.

"I'm sure Ser Jaime and you have a lot to discuss," she parried. "My matter can wait."

Tyrion shook his head. "Nonsense. Ser Jaime has the ability to wait as well, if it's not a life or death question."

"Pretend I am not here," he dismissed.

A wave of apprehension washed over her. She nervously started to play with her dress and stole a quick glance at the Kingslayer, who didn't really pay attention. He stood up, his tall figure making him more intimidating than his nickname. _The Kingslayer. _Tyrion told her about King Aerys death. Treason of the Hand of the King. The Hand of the King, whose hand ran a sword through the king's back.

Jaime walked to the balcony, his armour shining in the sunlight.

Tyrion was waiting for the girl's answer, who was staring blankly at his brother. The dwarf's forefinger poked Avery's thigh.

She winced. Dismissing her previous thoughts she opened the book, she failed to read and showed him the inscrutable sentence.

"This beats me," she admitted ashamedly. "I can't figure this letter out."

Tyrion read the sentence. Scowling, he scratched his chin. "It's an f, which looks like a j." He continued reading and shook his head. "This monk had a terrible handwriting. No wonder you don't understand it.

Avery observed silently. If he wanted to believe that the handwriting was her only problem, she wouldn't object.

"I will find you another book," he promised, before he muttered something under his nose. "Something that hasn't been written with shit."

Jaime returned to the room, a pearl of sweat running down his forehead.

"I waited enough. Are you two quite finished?"

Tyrion nodded.

"Avery, would you mind giving us a moment?"

"Certainly," she curtseyed. "And thank you for your help, Lord Tyrion."

A dwarf waved it off as she fled the room. After they were left alone Jaime cocked his eyebrow.

"I never knew you had maids. Why the sudden change?" He smirked. "Whores are no longer fun?"

"Whores are always fun. But you are right, she is my first maid. It's quite useful actually. You walk around, living your lovely life, while someone else is cleaning up the shit you left behind. You should try it."

Jaime shrugged. "I don't like the idea of strangers touching my things."

"And I don't like walking in my own shit. Never mind. You wanted to talk, brother?"

"Yes. Father sends the word that you better get ready for the journey. We leave with the sunrise. "

Jaime put down his goblet to the small table and turned to leave.

"Don't be late!" he called back over his shoulder. "It's time to meet the honourable Ned Stark."

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**A/N: Hey guys! This is my first fanfiction and English is not my native language, but I thought I would give it a try. **** Hope you like it! Please share your opinions with me. Grammar Nazis are most welcomed!**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Northmen were like savages. They guzzled the poor wine as if their life depended on it. Jaime didn't like its taste at all. How could Ned Stark be the Hand of the King if he couldn't even make a decent wine?

Not like that mattered, he thought with distaste as King Robert burped and started emptying another cup. In his state he wouldn't have noticed if he was drinking horse piss.

The hall was full of life. The spilled wine glistened on the ground in the torches' light. People were yelling at each other and laughed wholeheartedly, not caring about the half-eaten bits of food, which fell out of their mouth.

Deep laughter sounded when Robert grabbed the nearest servant girl's arse and pulled her in his lap. She did not resist. She let the king to bury his face in her breasts, while constantly groping her body.

Jaime glanced at his sister.

Cersei sat proudly with a stoic expression on her beautiful face, a small smile frozen on her lips. She acted as if she didn't notice the disgusting things that her husband did. _He didn't even have the decency to do it behind her back._ Anger flared up at Jaime and the thought that Robert will most likely claim his sister as well during the night fuelled it even more.

He needed to talk to her. He wanted to comfort her. A few whispered words in her ear and Cersei would be in his arms all night. How many words would he need to whisper to wake up next to her as well? Probably all of Varys' whisperers together wouldn't be enough.

Their eyes met and Jaime knew where he would spend the rest of the night. If someone is going to claim Cersei, it will be him. The king was already in a state where he could easily mistake Ned for his wife. After he passed out they could even do it next to him. Jaime smiled darkly at the thought. And if he would somehow wake up and realize what's happening, Jaime would slaughter him like a pig.

If it would have been up to him, they would have escaped long ago, somewhere far away where even the king's chunky hand couldn't reach. They would have to live a more modest life and in all likelihood their father would disown and disinherit them, but he didn't care. Cersei would be his. It's all that mattered. He would love her during the day and make love to her during the night. Their life would be perfect.

Of course Cersei would never allow this to happen. _Don't be a fool_ – she whispered in his ear at nights. _We can't throw it all away just because of love. I can be yours right now!_

After that they usually they ended up having sex and Jaime dropped the subject.

Cersei had enough and stood up, without making a scene. She gathered her remaining pride and left the hall with dignity.

Jaime needed all of his self-control to not to go after her. A member of the Kingsguard couldn't leave the king alone. Not that it will take long for the keg of wine to get to Robert's head, making him collapse somewhere. Naturally, getting the king back to his chambers was one of his duties. It didn't help, that the king usually desperately held onto pair of breasts in his semiconscious state, groaning and whining like an insufferable brat, about how he wants to take the women in the corridors _immediately._

But the king was still on his feet and chatted merrily with the ones who set around him. It seemed the only person who got the privilege to not to be talked to as if he was a scum, was the _honourable _Eddard Stark. He listened to their conversation for a while but soon grew tired of it and now that Cersei has left, the feast became quite unbearable.

He looked around, searching for some engagement and fixed his eyes on Tyrion. For some unknown reason his little brother brought his mud brown haired maid with himself, now hunched over a book together. Tyrion muttered something under his breath before the girl started chuckling.

Jaime frowned. How could they enjoy themselves when he was about to tear out his own hair?

She continued to laughed, and as he watched them curiosity took the place of his annoyance. He strode toward them with firm steps and when he reached the table the two of them looked up from the thick book.

"Ah, Jaime. How nice of you to join us."

"Tyrion," he nodded before turning to the maid, her cheeks red, thanks to the wine. "Harlot."

Her complexion turned a shade redder as she snapped back. "You are the harlot!"

Jaime raised his eyebrows, amused by her sudden boldness.

"Oh, I whore around all the time." He smiled suggestively. "Thought I would chance my arm here."

Tyrion scratched his chin. "As ravishing you look tonight I think I will pass."

Jaime let out a disappointed sigh, while taking the seat next to Tyrion. "Damn."

They sat in silence for a while, Tyrion staring into oblivion for a second, before shaking his head and drinking one more sip from his wine.

Jaime decided to break the silence. "What are you doing? I would have lost my sanity if I had to spend another minute alone.

"Well," Tyrion started. "The official version is that I am teaching her how to read, but it rather consists of my constant blathering, while she acts as if she's interested in the things that come out of my mouth."

The maid smiled at him. "I'm interested."

Tyrion snorted. "Well don't be, because what soon will come out of it will be nothing but wine and carrots. Speaking of wine," he said suddenly. "Since the servants are either busy with the King or with other noble men of the North, I believe I will have to fetch a pitcher myself. Jaime, stay here with Avery until then, would you? And don't let Robert go near her."

Jaime looked at King Robert. "I don't think that the king will soon move."

"Excellent. Stay here nevertheless."

His brother quickly disappeared into the sea of people. It was a useful talent when the situation arose. Jaime found it difficult to disappear into thin air with his height, not to mention his easily spottable white cape.

He waited for the girl to say something, but she remained silence, obstinately looking in her book, completely ignoring him.

"What are you reading?"

She looked up at him with a resigned smile. "To be honest… I have no idea."

She shut the book with a thud and sighed, rubbing the bridge of her pointy nose.

"Aren't you supposed to be useful?"

She gave him an irritated glare. "Aren't you supposed to be gallant?"

Jaime pressed his hand to his heart. "You wound me. "

"Besides, many people cannot read," she said defensively. "It's not _that_ rare."

"This is hardly a good excuse for being a simpleton."

Her cheeks flushed again with annoyance, but she didn't answer.

_No battle of wits today._

"So," Jaime drawled after a small silence. "How did you end up as Tyrion's maid?"

She seemed to consider the idea of not answering him.

"It's… rather complicated, Ser."

"I'm sure I will manage to keep up somehow."

She sighed in defeat. "Well, I was the Queen's maid for about a week before she told me to get out." Hearing this, Jaime looked at her with sudden interest. Before he could have asked any question she continued speaking. "I had no place to go and my pockets were emptier than ever."

"What about your family?" he asked.

A grim expression appeared on her face as she looked at her hands. "Let's just say that wasn't an option. At any rate, apparently a certain person heard the Queen's yelling and decided to offer me a position. He thought it would greatly annoy her. It did," she added with a small smile.

Jaime didn't appreciate her gloating smile. She either forgot who she was talking to or had too much wine.

"She is your queen," he reminded her. "Watch your tongue."

Her smile withered. "Yes, my Lord."

Jaime felt a sense of tension appear in the air as the girl silently turned back to her book. Her fingers gently stroked the claret cover.

"So, why did she want to get rid of you?"

The maid was now well aware who she was talking you. "Maybe you should ask the Queen, my Lord," she simply said, not looking in his eyes.

The conversation was over. Tyrion chose this moment to return with a pleased smile, sitting between the two of them. The jug of wine met the table with a loud thud, startling a drunken man, who slept nearby.

Tyrion poured himself a large cup of wine.

"Do you want some?" he asked his brother, while Robert fell off his chair.

Jaime stood up and shook his head. "No, thank you. I think I should make sure, that the king makes it alive to his chambers."

"Suit yourself."

Jaime looked at the girl, who still refused to meet his gaze. As he walked away he couldn't help but wonder.

_What did she do against Cersei?_

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**A/N: Hey guys! First of all, thank you for the lovely reviews Miss. Lori Macmanus, Audrey Granger, i-need-shine and Kay1104! :) I squealed embarrassingly when I read them, but no one saw it, so no harm done! Please continue sharing your thoughts with me. :) **  
**I hope you guys will enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. :) And I promise that the characters will stop sipping wine all the time. Those poor livers!**


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